Oneshots: Ultimate Dolly Parton
by Mama Joe
Summary: Hello. These are a handful of un-linked oneshots based on the track listing from the 2003 album 'Ultimate Dolly Parton'. They get better as they go along. Kind of like a reward for regular readers. Oneshots are in the same order as the tracks.
1. Jolene

**Ever since Will had began hanging around with his 'new friend' Jolene, Emma had become suspicious. **

Emma drove out to the lake on which Jolene lived, and knocked on her door. It opened, and Emma barged her way inside, chorusing.

_Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene__  
><em>_I'm begging of you please don't take my man__  
><em>_Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene__  
><em>_Please don't take him just because you can__  
><em>_Your beauty is beyond compare__  
><em>_With flaming locks of auburn hair__  
><em>_With ivory skin and eyes of emerald green_

_Your smile is like a breath of spring  
>Your voice is soft like summer rain<br>And I cannot compete with you, Jolene_

_He talks about you in his sleep  
>There's nothing I can do to keep<br>From crying when he calls your name, Jolene_

She began to throw Jolene's furniture around, causing true chaos for the girl.

_And I can easily understand  
>How you could easily take my man<br>But you don't know what he means to me, Jolene_

_Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene  
>I'm begging of you please don't take my man<br>Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene  
>Please don't take him just because you can<em>

_You could have your choice of men  
>But I could never love again<br>He's the only one for me, Jolene_

Looking around, Emma saw that she had trashed Jolene's house. She knew that if she stopped, the police would be called, so she continued to trash her house, every swipe stabbing her in the soul.

_I had to have this talk with you  
>My happiness depends on you<br>And whatever you decide to do, Jolene_

_Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene  
>I'm begging of you please don't take my man<br>Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene  
>Please don't take him even though you can<br>Jolene, Jolene_

Before she left, Emma turned to Jolene, and uttered a single line, that made her seem unlike every other occurrence of her ever.

"Wait and see what happens if you do take my man, you bitch."


	2. 9 To 5

An alarm buzzed. A pair of eyes opened. A smile erupted, and none other than Will Schuester started to belt Dolly Parton at the top of his voice.

_Tumble outta bed and I stumble to the kitchen_

He walked into the kitchen, and opened the refrigerator. He pulled out some OJ and poured a glass.

_Pour myself a cup of ambition__  
><em>_Yawnin', stretchin', try to come to life_

Downing the orange juice, he slammed the glass on the counter and walked through to his bathroom. He turned the shower on, and hopped in, and heard a car screech, the driver swearing at a woman crossing the road.

_Jump in the shower and the blood starts pumpin'__  
><em>_Out on the streets the traffic starts jumpin'__  
><em>_And folks like me on the job from nine to five_

As he lathered his hair, he exploded dramatically into the chorus.

_Workin' nine to five__  
><em>_What a way to make a livin'__  
><em>_Barely gettin' by__  
><em>_It's all takin' and no givin'__  
><em>_They just use your mind__  
><em>_And they never give you credit__  
><em>_It's enough to drive you__  
><em>_Crazy if you let it_

_Nine to five, for service and devotion__  
><em>_You would think that I__  
><em>_Would deserve a fair promotion__  
><em>_Want to move ahead__  
><em>_But the boss won't seem to let me__  
><em>_I swear sometimes that man is out to get me__  
><em>_Mmmmm_...

As he continued to sing, an image of Figgins flashed into his mind.

_They let your dream__  
><em>_Just a' watch 'em shatter__  
><em>_You're just a step__  
><em>_On the boss man's ladder__  
><em>_But you got dreams he'll never take away_

His mind then flicked to Emma.

_In the same boat with a lot of your friends__  
><em>_Waitin' for the day your ship'll come in__  
><em>_And the tide's gonna turn__  
><em>_And it's all gonna roll your way_

He opened his front door, walked through it, and closed it behind him. He got into his car and continued to sing.

_Workin' nine to five__  
>What a way to make a livin'<em>_  
>Barely gettin' by<em>_  
>It's all takin' and no givin'<em>_  
>They just use your mind<em>_  
>And you never get the credit<em>_  
>It's enough to drive you<em>_  
>Crazy if you let it<em>

_Nine to five, yeah__  
>They got you where they want you<em>_  
>There's a better life<em>_  
>And you think about it, don't you?<em>_  
>It's a rich man's game<em>_  
>No matter what they call it<em>_  
>And you spend your life<em>_  
>Puttin' money in his wallet<em>

He parked his car, and got out. The walk to his classroom took no time at all. Not when he was singing such a true to life song.

_Nine to five__  
>What a way to make a livin'<em>_  
>Barely gettin' by<em>_  
>It's all takin' and no givin'<em>_  
>They just use you mind<em>_  
>And they never give you credit<em>_  
>It's enough to drive you<em>_  
>Crazy if you let it<em>

Someone knocked at his door, and will dropped his tone to nothing but an increasingly quiet whisper.

_Nine to five, yeah__  
>They got you where they want you<em>_  
>There's a better life<em>_  
>And you dream about it, don't you?<em>_  
>It's a rich man's game<em>_  
>No matter what they call it<em>_  
>And you spend your life<em>_  
>Puttin' money in his wallet<em>

The knocker was none other than Sue Sylvester. As always, she looked purely acidic towards Will.

"William." She said "This is not a Southern cotton plantation. This is a school. You do not have to sing to keep up morale. Because of this, I have here, a legal notice asking you to stop."

Will's jaw dropped. Even for Sue, this was mean.

"And William?" She asked. His head turned to her. "We don't actually work from 9 to 5."


	3. Here You Come Again

Sebastian glared at the man who had just entered _his_ choir room. The man stared back with just as much contempt.

"Anderson." Sebastian leered.

"Smythe." Blaine retorted.

"What are you doing in _my_ room? You're not a Warbler."

"Under Warbler code 12-33x4b, all ex-Warblers have free rite of passage to any Warbler meeting or practice. And here's another thing. I am a Warbler, as of now."

"You go to McKinley..?"

"Kurt and I kind of broke up, and Mom and Dad refused to let me stay there for no reason."

Sebastian smiled, and turned to face the rest of the choir.

"A vote, fellow choirmen. If any one side has over 66%, that side wins."

This proposition was met with a small wave of mutters.

"If I win," Sebastian continued," Blaine cannot rejoin. If he wins, he can have my senior Warbler position. "

"Vote in favour of Smythe?" he asked.

Five hands raised.

"And in favour of Anderson."

5 hands raised again.

Blaine walked over to the piano, and sat down, knowing that Warbler customs stated that a sing off was the only way to solve this.

"Oh no. No no no no no." Sebastian said, shoving Blaine from the piano. "Warbler custom states that we must have a sing off. It also, however, states that a current Warbler must choose the song. As I am battling, I choose me."

He placed his fingers gently on the ivory notes, and pressed down. He began to sing.

_Here you come again  
>Just when I'm about to get myself together<br>You waltz right in the door, just like you've done before  
>And wrap my heart 'round your little finger<em>

Here you come again  
>Just when I'm about to make it work without you<br>You look into my eyes and light those dreamy eyes  
>And pretty soon I'm wonderin' how I came to doubt you<p>

Blaine shot Sebastian a puzzled look, but took over the lead.

_All you gotta do is smile that smile  
>And there go all my defenses<br>Just leave it up to you and in a little while  
>You're messin' up my mind an' fillin' up my senses<em>

Here you come again  
>Lookin' better than a body has a right to<br>An' shakin' me up so, that all I really know  
>Is here you come again an' here I go<p>

All you gotta do is smile that smile  
>And there go all my defenses<br>Just leave it up to you and in a little while  
>You're messin' up my mind an' fillin' up my senses<p>

Sebastian joined in with the chorus, and both gave the other looks of increasing endearment.

_Here you come again  
>Lookin' better than a body has a right to<br>An' shakin' me up so, that all I really know  
>Is here you come again an' here I go<em>

Sebastian's vocals dropped off, leaving Blaine to finish the song.

_Here I go  
>An' here I go<br>An' here I go_

_Here you come again_  
><em>An' here I go<em>  
><em>Here I go<em>  
><em>An' here I go<em>

Blaine looked puzzled. He knew that Dolly Parton's masterpiece was welcoming someone back.

"May I explain?" Sebastian offered.

Blaine nodded.

"I can tell that the Warblers like you. It would be irresponsible of me to not allow you back, regardless of what opinion says. Democracy doesn't always work. Not if the majority are foolish. And plus, despite the fact I hate you, the choir comes first."


	4. I Will Always Love You

The room was dark, and the only streak of moonlight to pierce the thick, velvet curtains hit a photo of an aged man, with brown hair gelled back, polygonal eyebrows and a small, yet strangely curved smile. It was evident that this man was the father of Sebastian Smythe.

The child of said man was lying on the floor next to the photo, staring at it, pining quietly to himself.

"Daddy? I miss you daddy. I really do. Even after all these years." he wept

Sebastian placed the photo back on his nightstand, and pulled himself back into bed, where he could not find solace, being taunted by the sandman.

Eventually, he had enough of fighting the eerie, dominating silence, and turned on the radio to Radio Lima.

He heard the familiar echo of a song his father used to sing him, while they were living in Tennessee. He pulled his pillow to his face and started singing.

_If I should stay  
>I would only be in your way<br>And so I'll go, and yet I know  
>That I'll think of you each step of my way<em>

He paused, because he heard a tapping at his door. He looked up, and the door opened. A small congregation of Warblers had assembled in his room, holding candles and Gideon's Bibles. The Warblers began to chorus.

_And I will always love you  
>I will always love you<em>

Their vocals dropped off again, presenting Sebastian with the opportunity to sing again.

_Bitter-sweet memories  
>That's all I am taking with me<br>Good-bye, please don't cry  
>We both know that I'm not<br>What you need_

The Warblers began again, singing the chorus, while keeping the same sombre tone they had when they entered Sebastian's abode.

_I will always love you  
>I will always love you<br>I hope life, treats you kind  
>And I hope that you have all<br>That you ever dreamed of  
>And I wish you joy<br>And I wish you happiness  
>But above all this<br>I wish you love  
>I will always, always love you<br>I will always love you  
>I will always love you<br>I will always love you_

Sebastian didn't join in again, because he was weeping into the bear his father won him at the Coney Island fairground when they visited as kids.

Wes sat down on Sebastian's bed, causing Sebastian to look up.

"Why would you do something this nice for me, after all the horrible things I did to you?" the weeping boy asked.

"Sebastian, you may not be the nicest of guys, but one of the founding principles of Dalton was 'Thou must always aid a fellow when said fellow is in need'. And Sebastian, you are in need. We all know how much you miss your father, and we know that today is his first anniversary, so we thought it would follow the Dalton code to come and make sure you're OK."

"But I still don't understand. Why do you care about my dad?"

"We didn't sing that to make you feel better. We sang that because it's exactly what your father is feeling, right now."


	5. Joshua

"Grandma! Grandma!" the children shouted. "Tell us a story!"

The children's grandma sighed, and smiled a smile that could belong to no other than Quinn Fabray.

"What story would you like?" she asked, holding the same warmth she held fifty years ago, while she was still at McKinley.

"Tell us how you and Grandpa met!"

She grinned. It was one of her favourite stories.

_Well a good ways down the railroad track__  
><em>_There was this little old rundown shack__  
><em>_And in it lived a man I'd never seen_

The children smiled. They loved it when Grandma sang.

___Folks said he was a mean and a vicious man__  
><em>_And you better not set foot on his land__  
><em>_I didn't think nobody could be that mean_

Grandpa walked into the room, and sat down on the sofa next to Grandma.

___So I took me out walking down the railroad track__  
><em>_I was a-gonna go down to that little old shack__  
><em>_And just find out if all them things I'd heard was true__  
><em>_There was a big black dog laying out in the yard__  
><em>_And it growled at me and I swallowed hard__  
><em>_And I heard somebody say "Well who are you?"_

Grandpa blushed. He hated who he was back then.

___Oh and there he stood in the door of that shack__  
><em>_His beard and his hair was long and black__  
><em>_And he was the biggest man I'd ever seen__  
><em>_When he spoke his voice was low and deep__  
><em>_But he just didn't frighten me_

Grandpa's blush turned to a smile. He liked the next part of Grandma's song.

___'Cause somehow I just knew he wasn't mean__  
><em>_He said what you doing snooping 'round my place__  
><em>_And I saw a smile come across his face__  
><em>_So I smiled back and I told him who I was__  
><em>_He said come on in and pull you up a chair__  
><em>_You might as well since you already here__  
><em>_And he said you can call me Joshua_

The children began to sing with her, and Grandpa started to tap his feet to the tune.

___Joshua Joshua__  
><em>_Whatcha doing living here all alone__  
><em>_Joshua Joshua__  
><em>_Ain't you got nobody to call your own__  
><em>_No no no no__  
><em> 

The children's singing dropped off, so Grandma could continue with her fable.

___We talked 'til the sun was clean out of sight__  
><em>_And we still talking when it come daylight__  
><em>_And there was just so much we had to say hey__  
><em>_I'd spent my life in an orphan's home_

Grandpa looked at her, confused. "You never lived in a home." he said.

Grandma glared back, and continued.

___And just like him I was all alone__  
><em>_So I said yeah when he asked if I'd stay__  
><em>_Oh we grew closer as time went on__  
><em>_And that little old shack it was a happy home__  
><em>_And we just couldn't help but fall in love_

Grandpa smiled. He loved her then, and even more now.

___That big black dog and that little old shack__  
><em>_Sitting down by the railroad track__  
><em>_It's plenty good enough for me and Joshua_

Grandma stopped singing. It had tired her out. Luckily though, her grandchildren continued for her.

___Joshua Joshua__  
><em>_Why you're just what I've been looking for__  
><em>_Joshua Joshua__  
><em>_You ain't gonna be lonesome anymore__  
><em>_No no___

_Yodel-a-he-ho___

_Me and Joshua__  
><em>_Me and Joshua__  
><em>_Me and Joshua yeah yeah__  
><em>_Me and Joshua_

"I love that song..." Grandma said. "It's just sad that Rachel isn't around to hear me sing it. She'd have been so proud..."

A tear slipped out of her eye, and crashed against the floor.


End file.
